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Monday, August 27, 2012

Pearlperry Reich, The New York Jew who wandered from the flock


In Pearl Reich’s lounge room in Lakewood, New Jersey, is a symbol of her defiance. It is a large, new flat screen television. This thing, according to the beliefs of the ultra-orthodox Jewish Hasidic sect that she has fled, represents evil.

“They call it a box of ‘tumah’, like a box of impurity,” she says.

Reich, 31, was born in Israel and moved to Brooklyn with her family at the age of 10. Her father was a Hasidic rabbi who started a synagogue in Borough Park, an exclusive Hasidic enclave just over the river from Manhattan.

In this area, the men wear hats and side locks and the women go about totally covered except for their hands and faces.

Women may not wear trousers and many wear wigs to cover their shaven heads, because of the belief that natural hair can be sexually arousing.

In the homes of this suburb, there are no televisions or radios. Here, inside the great city of New York, the world is kept away.


“By the time I got married at 18, I’d never heard Celine Dion sing, never seen any movies, no television, no radio,” says Reich.

She has become one of the rare women to not only reject Hasidism, a growing hardline conservative religious movement which she calls a cult, but to shine a light on practices that she says degrade Jewish women.

As a teenager, Reich was studious and assisted her father teaching theology to young students. But she started falling in love with a non-religious Russian boy. Her father intervened.

“He made us break up and arranged a marriage with another rabbi’s son,” she says.

Reich was 18. Sinai Susholz was 27. There was no attraction, but she did not question it. She believed marriage was a holy vessel for the production of children.

“I knew that I had no choice, because I believed everything I had been taught,” she says.

“A girl in our community, at the age of 18, is equivalent emotionally to a 13 year old in another community. We do not have choice. We are told what to do. We parrot everything.

“So my marriage was bad, but all I kept saying was, ‘My parents want this, God wants this,’ and so I can’t go wrong.”

By the age of 24, she’d had four children – a boy and three girls. She worked designing bridal fashion. After her second child was born, she began thinking about a divorce.

She had no feelings for her husband and says he felt threatened by her looks.

It never occurred to her to question orthodox lifestyle. She still wore the long skirts, long sleeves and the wig. But she knew something was wrong.

“We had no sexual compatibility,” she says. “Nothing doing.” The families intervened and sent the couple to orthodox counselling.

“They sent us to rabbis,” she says. “It was disgusting. What does a rabbi know about my sexuality? They told me I was being extremely materialistic and dirty by wanting to be satisfied by my husband. I was told I’m a bitch and slut, by rabbis and by him.

“He was an emotional abuser, but I kept blaming myself. We had learned the husband was a reflection of the woman.”

By then, she was living west of Manhattan in Lakewood, home to another large Hasidic community and one of the world’s biggest rabbinical colleges.

After having two more children, she’d had enough. She took out retraining orders for physical abuse. She says her husband believed she was seeing other men. She says she never did. “I was a good wife, I brought in money, I gave him kids, I was beautiful. What more did he want?”

Speaking for Susholz, lawyer Richard Sevrin told News Ltd his client strongly denies any suggestion of physical or emotional abuse. He says while there were police complaints, Reich later voluntarily dismissed them by consent.

“There was no abuse,” Sevrin says. “They were mere allegations.”

Reich took her four children and went back to Brooklyn to live with her parents.

But Reich, still living as a Hasidic woman, was an embarrassment to the community. She says her parents and her husband were strongly opposed her divorce, which she wanted the Jewish Beth din court to grant her.

Her husband refused to divorce her in the Jewish court, and began taking a simultaneous family court action, in the normal US civil courts, for sole custody of the children.

She began a six year battle, which placed her in the bizarre situation of fighting the attempts to remove her children, yet still under demands that she remain married. All of it, she claims, was an attempt to return her to the loveless marriage.

She could not get a normal civil divorce because she had been pressured to sign a document which gave the Beth din court power to arbitrate over her marriage issues.

Last year, something clicked. She went to the Beth din court and told them she did no longer believed in God and did not recognize their authority. They were unable to deal with a non-believer, but were still reluctant to act.

It wasn’t a stunt. Reich says she suddenly just stopped believing, in all religion. She began wearing pants, got a tattoo and did some modelling. “I went to the Museum of Natural History and saw these sculptures and this archeology,” she says. “I was going out of my mind. I’d been told it was all false.”

Reich began to talk to the media (the New York Post called her the “Hasidic Hottie”) and appeared on “Dr Phil”, along with her new boyfriend, who had also left the ultra-orthodox faith. Sevrin, the lawyer, says Susholz refuses to participate in media interviews because he does not want his children exposed.

Reich says Hasidic authorities in Israel were angry with her and elements of New York’s Hasidic leadership and wanted the problem solved.

Three weeks ago, the Beth din granted her divorce (she still, for now, remains legally married under US law) and the child custody matter came to an end a fortnight back. They have joint custody.

Reich says she never tried to countersue her husband for sole custody. “We both gave birth to these kids,” she says. “They’re beautiful and they’re smart. Taking away the kids is no way to work.”

Reich has agreed to certain conditions, including that the children attend Hasidic schools and that she remains in Lakewood.

Another condition is that she collect her children from school in Hasidic-approved attire and observes the Sabbath when the kids are in her home.

Reich does not like the deal, but says she is exhausted from fighting. She says she has no hate for the Hasidic community. “I’m against the leaders,” she says. “It has evolved into a cult and it was never supposed to be that way.”

She says she has connections to a strong underground of unhappy Hasidics who, she says, only maintain the appearance of piousness so their children are not kicked out of schools and they are not shunned.

“Life is harder now I’m not religious,” she says. “I used to get more monetary support. Religion provides security, yet when you discover your individuality, you can’t go back to that security.

She says arranged the marriages, isolation and the denial of sexuality do not work. “I believe in the Jewish culture and the history. Everything else is bullshit.

“Both the men and women are miserable. And they’re both right. Her femininity has been cut off and his sexual choice has been cut off. How can you survive?”

She says she watches closely as her eldest child, a son aged 10, who wears the side locks, develops views of women as subordinates.

She says the most she can do is try to put a lid on it, and encourage him to think about the choices she never had.

“I think men are born abusive and that women, whatever monkey they came from, they’re better,” she says. “Men need way more work to be better people.”  

By Paul Toohey  - www.thepunch.com.au

52 comments:

  1. Ladies and gentleman ...the "Westgate Hooker" finally resurfaces!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Mike were you a customer, or are you upset she took business from your wife.

      Motti Oren

      Delete
    2. No Motti Im too young, She likes guys who are at least 10 years younger than her. Im told she prefers teens. She likes Shauly cus he looks like he just graduated high school and sounds like hes in 3rd grade, all though his real education is obviously way less - as well as hers.
      Seriously speaking if she wouldn't be such a sexually addicted perverted deviant - that shes known to be, all this wouldn't have happened. unfortunately her sex life is way more important to her than how permanently and severely scarred her kids will be for the rest of they're lives - seeing the reaction on peoples faces when they realize what they're mom is famous for.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Stop insulting. You obviously don't follow Torah. An eye for a eye and a tooth for a tooth, we will be blind and toothless soon.

      Delete
  3. Such a bore of a girl...why would you give her any coverage? Her fantasy reality TV show burned up in a fire of her own inability to take criticism, just like all Chassidim. Her silly camera crew stopped following her. Her boat party for her fans was a fraud and people finally got sick of her. She is just a silly girl with no education or sense of culture.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is just a silly girl with no education or sense of culture.
      You are 100%right so what you going to do about it

      Delete
  4. The sad/funny thing is that she has no clue her ex hubby's supporters are following her every move and pronouncement, and are waiting for enough ammunition to go back to family court and successfully get full custody of her kids. Selfish and silly.

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  5. Replies
    1. Excuse me, there is no need for a name calling. Torah says we should not do that even if we are upset. As a Rabbi, you should know that, that is if you are a real Rabbi, why don't you identify yourself and write your real name. Read Pareki Avos Rabbi. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon we all be blind and toothless.

      A concerned Jew(Orthodox)

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    2. I would like to know the so called Rov that called her a slut, this is wat you get, the Rov should be taken out and shot in front of other rabbonim (i'm refering to the rov that gave marriage counceling that looks like didn't work well

      Delete
    3. exactly the untrained so called Rabbis are the root of all evil

      Delete
  6. Come on Rabbi x....really, there is nothing about her that says she is a whore. There were no allegations of her being unfaithful to her husband.

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  7. Enough. She has had a very difficult life. Don't judge if you haven't been in her shoes. Hashem will judge all of us in a couple of weeks

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  8. Hey Mr. non-judge....when a person puts themselves out there in media-land they are saying "look at me, look at me....and tell me how great I am." If she were a woman who became non-frum and lived a regular life, you are right, it would be no one's business. BUT SHE PURPOSELY MAKES IT EVERYONE'S BUSINESS.

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  9. after all she beautiful and loks great and lovely

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  10. You dumb frummies are too sick to admit the truth. There are thousands of individuals stuck in the frum community who are no longer believers. The old Jewish law books besides being man made are all outdated. The sexual laws are absurd, who in their right mind has a Rabbi or anyone else for that matter check a piece of cloth to see if the menses has stopped, and sexual relations may resume. masquerade and being honest about her views and beliefs. The archaic frum world is on the way out, wake up and smell the coffee this is 2012. We do not believe in ammaculate Pearl deserves credit for not hiding behind the Orthodox conception or any of the religious fantasies. Jewish, Christian, Buddism, Islam or of any other man made laws. The Jewish Hasiddic way of life is an insult to human intelligence. The list is endless, here are a few weird ones
    Shave your head, wear coats to cover womens' body form, instead of bathing go to a mikvah, ritual bath, aha cleanse yourself in water used by dozens before you, or in the case of men go skinny dipping with your synagogue members adults and children at the same time, loose pants for men, briefs for example are outlawed because they keep they testicles warm.Testicles are their to procreate, that what sex is for, not human pleasure, it's referred to as a mitvah. The list is endless and the "frummies" are embarressed that this bull $hit is being exposed to the world at large.
    "EX FRUMMIE" stuck in the frum world of Bull $hit

    KUDOS to Pearl for being honest a trait frummies fail to acknowledge in their daily lives

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my dear G'D, you are very bitter and I do understand the bitterness and agree with some of what you say however laws of nidah, torah hallocho are good and true but sadly we in 2012 have a bunch of screwd up rabbis and leaders that have screwd up the whole torah world, an example Rav Elyashive died and all are crying oy a poisek hador but no one rabbonim including didn't listen to what he said regarding abbuse, shiduchim and alike so to me some and not all rabbonim should be shot but please remember their is a G'D and all the leaders that do not follow halocho will have their time

      Delete
    2. FINALLY a seemingly orthodox person with common sense. The Cohanim after churban bayis rishon were fakers as well. Now after the latest churban we have fake rabbis

      Delete
  11. Anon: 12:42 a.m.
    line six should read:
    Pearl Reich does not hide behind a masquerade she is being honest about her views and beliefs

    ReplyDelete
  12. you are an apikores you damn putz

    ReplyDelete
  13. WOW ex-frummie. You really knocked that one out of the ballpark! Yes, for the first time in history, wise people like you and purpleperry have figured out the old religious law books are outdated. Buddy, your position has been expressed throughout history, time and time again; and by people who are more eloquent. Perhaps purpleperry should have dedicated her spare time to reading books on theology and philosophy as opposed to being followed by a pathetic camera crew.

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  14. If you cant have sympathy for another jew then there is also a problem with you. There is much more to this sorry than someone who just woke up one day and decided she wants out of a marriage. How would the Chofetz Chaim respond? What about the Baal Shem Tov or his talmidim? Jew bashing is not proper especially not at this time of year. If you can't understand this then you should question your own relationship with judaism

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  15. Ex Frummies:

    Fast forward one hundred years, my friends, and we will then see what families have been raised and what values are being cherished and what choices are made by the offspring of those who think like yourself, and the offspring of others who think differently. (Please dont use terrorist murderers as an example of religion gone bad, because anyone can use examples of atheists gone bad as well).

    And we’ll all be looking down, and will then have a crystallized understanding.

    To all the ex-frummies who portray frummies as those who have been beaten into submission and arent allowed to question:

    Its a miracle that those level headed doctors lawyers accountants therapists actuaries politicians business people bankers principals teachers, etc, growing by the day, in way larget numbers than yourselves, too numerous to count, who are Torah observant graduates of the Yeshiva system, can function at their jobs and lives, having had the living daylights beaten out of them throughout their school years for questioning, functioning with way less angry sarcasm in them than the tone which ex-Frummies regularly employ ;).

    Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles….

    TOT, no way, TOK, for KUP!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Jew bashing? How many Jews has she been bashing...and in the public eye.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ex Frummies:

    Fast forward one hundred years, my friends, and we will then see what families have been raised and what values are being cherished and what choices are made by the offspring of those who think like yourself, and the offspring of others who think differently. (Please dont use terrorist murderers as an example of religion gone bad, because anyone can use examples of atheists gone bad as well).

    And we’ll all be looking down, and will then have a crystallized understanding.

    To all the ex-frummies who portray frummies as those who have been beaten into submission and arent allowed to question:

    Its a miracle that those level headed doctors lawyers accountants therapists actuaries politicians business people bankers principals teachers, etc, growing by the day, in way larget numbers than yourselves, too numerous to count, who are Torah observant graduates of the Yeshiva system, can function at their jobs and lives, having had the living daylights beaten out of them throughout their school years for questioning, functioning with way less angry sarcasm in them than the tone which ex-Frummies regularly employ ;).

    Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles….

    TOT, no way, TOK, for KUP!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ex Frummies:

    Fast forward one hundred years, my friends, and we will then see what families have been raised and what values are being cherished and what choices are made by the offspring of those who think like yourself, and the offspring of others who think differently. (Please dont use terrorist murderers as an example of religion gone bad, because anyone can use examples of atheists gone bad as well).

    And we’ll all be looking down, and will then have a crystallized understanding.

    To all the ex-frummies who portray frummies as those who have been beaten into submission and arent allowed to question:

    Its a miracle that those level headed doctors lawyers accountants therapists actuaries politicians business people bankers principals teachers, etc, growing by the day, in way larget numbers than yourselves, too numerous to count, who are Torah observant graduates of the Yeshiva system, can function at their jobs and lives, having had the living daylights beaten out of them throughout their school years for questioning, functioning with way less angry sarcasm in them than the tone which ex-Frummies regularly employ ;).

    Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles….

    TOT, no way, TOK, for KUP!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. idiot you can copy your message a thousand times your response is outright stupid

      Love,
      Shaul Spitzer

      Delete
  19. Man up and publish this comment!

    Ex Frummies:

    Fast forward one hundred years, my friends, and we will then see what families have been raised and what values are being cherished and what choices are made by the offspring of those who think like yourself, and the offspring of others who think differently. (Please dont use terrorist murderers as an example of religion gone bad, because anyone can use examples of atheists gone bad as well).

    And we’ll all be looking down, and will then have a crystallized understanding.

    To all the ex-frummies who portray frummies as those who have been beaten into submission and arent allowed to question:

    Its a miracle that those level headed doctors lawyers accountants therapists actuaries politicians business people bankers principals teachers, etc, growing by the day, in way larger numbers than yourselves, too numerous to count, who are Torah observant graduates of the Yeshiva system, can function at their jobs and lives, having had the living daylights beaten out of them throughout their school years for questioning, functioning with way less angry sarcasm in them than the tone which ex-Frummies regularly employ ;).

    Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles….

    TOT, no way, TOK, for KUP!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Man up already and publish this comment!

    Ex Frummies:

    Fast forward one hundred years, my friends, and we will then see what families have been raised and what values are being cherished and what choices are made by the offspring of those who think like yourself, and the offspring of others who think differently. (Please dont use terrorist murderers as an example of religion gone bad, because anyone can use examples of atheists gone bad as well).

    And we’ll all be looking down, and will then have a crystallized understanding.

    To all the ex-frummies who portray frummies as those who have been beaten into submission and arent allowed to question:

    Its a miracle that those level headed doctors lawyers accountants therapists actuaries politicians business people bankers principals teachers, etc, growing by the day, in way larger numbers than yourselves, too numerous to count, who are Torah observant graduates of the Yeshiva system, can function at their jobs and lives, having had the living daylights beaten out of them throughout their school years for questioning, functioning with way less angry sarcasm in them than the tone which ex-Frummies regularly employ ;).

    Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles….

    TOT, no way, TOK, for KUP!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Curious...how old is Perry? How old is Shuli?

    ReplyDelete
  22. So, you know it's wrong but her behavior makes it right? This story is so sad and for so many people. There is the husband, wife, for children, parents on both sides and other family members. There are many stories like this that we never hear about, but when we do we should take a moment and reflect. Perhaps we as a society have contributed to this problem? But if that is beyond your abilities, there are so many victims here and what you are doing will accomplish nothing. Perhaps she may bounce back to some modality of religious life when all this is over. That will only happen with people treating her respectfully. Additionally, her dress code isn't that much worse than how todays young frum girls are dressing. Skirts seldom cover knees etc... anyone can criticize, but it takes a tzaddik to find good. What would the Berditciver rebbe say?

    ReplyDelete
  23. True....our accepting perversions of the Torah have certainly contributed to this. Still, leaving the derech is one thing, not finding a different one is altogether a bigger problem; then your morals are defined but the person whose vision you see in the mirror. If she had become a Hindu at least there would be a reasonable and beginning point of discussion. "What are you?" "I am NOT frum." "Okay, that's what you are NOT....but what are you?" No answer...ever.

    ReplyDelete
  24. How come none of you so highly intelligent frummies answered any of "EX FRUMMIES" questions. Such as taking the rag to a Rabbi for example

    ReplyDelete
  25. Okay...I will answer, though no answer will satisfy you. Concepts of bodily purity and impurity have been accepted over thousand of years but different religions and societies, and to this day still are by billions of people. Hindus, Muslims and yes (your least favorite) Torah observant Jews; plus other smaller societies throughout the world. To begin an intelligent discussion, one does not start at the "end," but rather at the beginning...and the question of "why."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. are you the agent trying to sell the brooklyn bridge. there are no concrte answers to my questions its perverted man made laws maybe you are a part time Rabbi checking bedika cloths does that turn you on

      Yoily Fekete,
      formerly of Kiryas Yoel

      Delete
  26. correction: but = by

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  27. As has been very well established previously. She is a slut, probably a nymphomaniac, who's husband had no chance of pleasing while keeping taharas hamishpacha. Her toy boy sholi grossman has a good dick and that's all either of them want.

    Dumping yiddishkeit was for both of them an afterthought to fulfilling their desires.

    ReplyDelete
  28. you are all a bunch of blind sheep who truthfully do not believe these crazy laws
    like i said Peary is at least honest you are all fakers
    ie the jackass from squaretwon that got caught stealing a garbage truck the reprt says he was trashing the rebbees sick sex laws

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    Replies
    1. oh she's so honest...let's see how honest she is when she finds out what "her prince" has been up to and decides to end it. i can just read it now..."we decided to end our personal relationship, but maintain our professional one and remain friends"....uh huh

      Delete
  29. Rabbi Wolpe is a prfessional bedika cloth checker hes been sniffing my wifes for quite some time
    Yoily

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  30. Tuches offen tisch boys and girls come on now
    do you really believe in this bull$hit or are you just to frightened to face the truth
    The holy books delegate how often you can have sex awwwwwwww save it for mitzva night in the meantime the neighbors will do

    ReplyDelete
  31. does david wolpe wear skimpy hip briefs when he sniffs those stupid cloths or are his testicles in his throat

    his loving hasid
    Yoily

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't be rude!!!!! I dont wear briefs or any underwear at all for that matter. It saves time if the opportunity arises to chase a young boy in the holy ritual bath.

      Rabbi David Wolpe

      Delete
  32. Yoily and all you so called (and I hate the term ex-frummies)
    I am 45 now and boy i did kol dovor ossur ruined a number of yidishe lives plus my own, so yes I can definitely say that I’ve been there, done that well you know the rest.
    The frum world is badly messed up beyond imagination but the torah and its halochos and morals or right and good but we have a bunch of cretins for rabbis BUT NOT ALL
    you must find a rabbi one that you do, and can trust, believe me its hard but they do exists, from my experience not a so called big rabbi, they just want a reputation of being the do gooder and most are,,,,,,well leave that for another time, but PLEASE PLEASE do believe me, the Jewish frum way is the best and from what I have tried is the most emess, so if you feel trapped don't dive in a rough sea just use another pool. we Love you guys

    ReplyDelete
  33. Gosh holy Wolpe has been very silent I wonder if the comment on underwear is really his what a schmuck
    Yoily

    ReplyDelete
  34. moshe 4 from her husband. other than that....G-D knows.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I am noticing that there are no new pictures of Shuli lately on her Facebook page.

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  36. im really jelious of her
    jewishfun2@gmail.com
    i wish i can come out of the box ass well

    ReplyDelete
  37. Loshon Hora also applies online, you know. Hashem is watching ALL of us, everywhere. You should have compassion on Ms. Reich, especially for the mercy of her children, who I am sure I don't need to remind you are a portion of OUR future. Temper your dirty words and remarks. We are all Yidden, we have collective responsibility for each other ... have you forgotten this? Did we not just complete the observance of Sukkot? Shame on most of you. May we all rise from our lowly Madregas so that we can all come together as one, embracing the good, the bad and the ugly to bring all towards the good.

    ReplyDelete
  38. One more thing: when you daven or say tehillim, remember to daven for Ms. Pearlperry Reich, her husband and their children. Instead of wasting time here, go find out their Jewish names and do the next right thing: Pray.

    ReplyDelete