Well, there's one porn star in the country that Charlie Sheen can't find.
A lawyer for the fired "Two and a Half Men" star was in court Monday claiming Sheen has tried and failed to locate skin-flick starlet Capri Anderson so he can slap her with an extortion lawsuit.
He said Sheen hired a private investigator in January, but the sex performer - who was working the pole in a well-publicized appearance at Scores a couple of weeks ago - can't be tracked down.
Sheen is suing Anderson, claiming she tried to shake him down after his drug-fueled meltdown at the Plaza Hotel in the middle of a rendezvous last fall.
His lawyer wanted permission to notify Bronx-raised Anderson of the legal action through a published announcement, but Judge Norman Tarle rejected the request.
"We are informed that Anderson uses various aliases and often checks into hotels or enters into short-term residential arrangements using names other than her real name," Sheen's lawyer Michael Holtz wrote in his filing.
He said her lawyer, Keith Davidson, refused to accept service of the suit, claiming he'd lost contact with the adult film star.
Davidson said he didn't accept service of the suit because it's "ridiculous" and insisted he knows where his client is.
"The only people in the world who can't find Capri Anderson are Charlie Sheen and his lawyers," he said, noting her numerous interviews and public appearances in the last four months.
"This lawsuit is nothing more than a public relations stunt."
Sheen, 45, alleges Anderson stole his $165,000 Patek Philippe watch during their date and later demanded $1 million for her silence about his behavior that night.
"She fabricated a sensational tale about being assaulted, battered and held against her will, and used that fictional story as a basis for an extortion plot," the suit claims.
Anderson contends Sheen choked and threatened to kill her during the October rampage that ended Sheen in the hospital.
No criminal charges were filed.
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