Los Angeles, CA - The recent guilty plea of an Orthodox
Rabbi to molestation charges in New Jersey as well as the District Attorney’s
expressed hope that this case will encourage other parents of abused children
from the Orthodox community to come forward to report crimes, beg the questions
that have bothered me for years : Why is there such a reticence on the part of
Orthodox Jews to put these perpetrators behind bars?
Why are threats of retribution aimed at the victims and
their families if they report these crimes, when logic dictates that our wrath
should be aimed at the abuser and not at the abused?
I recently read an article in the L.A. Times about Phil
Jackson’s new book, and what he says in it about Kobe Bryant. Jackson writes
that he harbored a deep underlying hatred for Bryant the year that he was
accused of sexual assault, because Jackson’s daughter was a victim of a similar
assault years earlier. That episode, therefore, hit Jackson close to home.
It
struck me clearly that the mere fact that Jackson had a daughter wasn’t enough
to affect him deeply. The basic feelings of empathy and compassion that dictate
revulsion at the mere mention of such a heinous crime were apparently beyond
even beyond Phil Jackson’s capabilities.
I am not here to criticize Jackson, but could it be that we
the chosen people, are mired in the same place? Do we hear the words “abuse”
and “molestation”, shake our heads and move on?
Do we, Heaven forbid have to feel the pain personally before
we react the way a parent of a victim would? Let me make a suggestion: let us
rename these people “murderers” instead of molesters. From a religious point of
view , that is exactly what they are. Killing one’s souls, in Jewish law, is at
least as destructive as killing one physically.
In addition when a Rabbi or other religious authority figure
invades a child’s world with abuse, he shatters the positive association with
Torah that so significantly contributes to the child’s spirituality.
When we
compound the tragedy with intimation and cover-up, we bear the guilt of both
pushing the knife into the hearts of the victims, and becoming accessories to
the future murders of innocent neshamos.
I am not being overly dramatic. Listen to the mental health
professionals and hear how much of a struggle it is to rebuild theses victims’
self- esteem and trust. Can a Jew come to love Torah when its representative
has so ravaged his inner peace and self-worth?
The Torah commands us not to stand by idly as our fellow
Jew’s blood is being spilled.
This Halacha clearly encompasses more than actual
blood: one’s mental and spiritual health are within its purview as well.
Factoring in the intimacy issues that abuse raises later in life, the damaged
caused is incalculable. Arguably, there is no greater single threat to a chid’s
emerging Ruchnius than suffering the pain of sexual abuse.
So let’s stop focusing on the sterling reputations of
perpetrators and their family members, who inevitably rally to the molesters
side. Let’s stop nonsensically pretending that we are turning innocent people
over to the KGB or the Gestapo. Let’s stop listening to the empty promises that
it won’t happen again. Instead, let’s start looking into these children’s
hearts and let us cry at the agony that we see.
Let’s look honestly at the fact that today as an Orthodox
community we cannot manage our own house, and cannot promise that there will be
no more victims. We don’t have the power. We don’t have the authority. And
sadly, I fear that we don’t have the empathy.
Rabbi Avrohom Stulberger is a prominent Charedi Rabbi and
noted speaker. Rabbi Stulberger has been the Dean of Valley Torah High School
for 27 years. Serves as the President of the Yeshiva Principals council of LA
and has served on the Halachic Advisory Board of Aleinu Jewish Family Services
for over a decade.
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