More than 100 people protested Sunday outside a Wheaton apartment complex for a local man to give his ex-wife a religious divorce.
More than 100 people gathered along University Boulevard near the high-rise apartment building the Warwick on Sunday afternoon, to protest Aharon Friedman's refusal to give his former wife, Tamar Epstein, a Jewish decree of divorce, also known as a get.
"Aharon Friedman, give Tamar the get!" the crowd chanted at the foot of the building's driveway.
Cars slowed down as they drove past the intersection of University Boulevard and Arcola Avenue. The crowd started to spill over into the apartment's driveway, as police tried to move the protesters off private property.
About 50 people from Philadelphia, where Epstein currently lives, arrived on a coach bus at the beginning of the rally. Without the get, as an Orthodox Jew, Epstein may not remarry or date.
Friedman has refused to give the get, citing a problematic custody arrangement settled by the state of Maryland at the time of their civil divorce. The Organization for the Resolution of Agunot, an international group that advocates for the get, set up a rally on Sunday to try and apply pressure to Friedman. Groups of people also walked over from Kemp Mill and other parts of Wheaton to hold signs demanding the get be granted.
Lew Joseph, a Silver Spring resident, stood at the rally because he supported Epstein and ORA's efforts to bring attention to her and other women in similar situations.
"People are coming here from different shuls," Joseph said, adding that he noticed protesters from local Conservative synagogues and neighborhood Orthodox synagogues.
Epstein herself was in the crowd.
"It's a mixed feeling," she said about the protest's effect on her. "It's hard to come to terms with my life being public in this way, but I'm gratified for the turnout."
After consulting with several rabbis in Baltimore, Epstein said she believes that she does not need to go to the Bet Din, the Jewish court, to change the custody arrangement. Both Epstein and ORA argue that Friedman should not use the get as a way to gain a more favorable custody arrangement.
Rabbi Jeremy Stern, executive director of ORA, spoke first.
"We did everything we could not to come to this rally," he said, citing four months of mediation between Friedman and his supporters.
Rabbi Shmuel Herzfeld of Ohev Sholom, the National Synagogue and Rabbi Avraham Shmidman of the Lower Merion Synagogue in Pennsylvania also used the megaphone to speak to the assembled protesters.
"Aharon Friedman walks around Capitol Hill as a religious Jew," Herzfeld said, mentioning Friedman's job with Rep. Dave Camp of Michigan, the ranking Republican member of the Ways and Means Committee. "But this is not what a religious Jew does."
Herzfeld reasserted that the community would be there to support Epstein.
Friedman did not appear at the protest. In the past few days, letters have circulated supporting him, arguing that the original custody arrangement was unfair and that Epstein acted in bad faith. Beyond the fact that the two are civilly divorced, the two sides disagree on almost every aspect of the case.
David Butler, a Kemp Mill resident, said he attended the rally because he felt the situation was unjust.
"I feel pretty strongly that what's going on is wrong," Butler said. "It's a generally quiet community, and the interest speaks volumes."
"Aharon Friedman walks around Capitol Hill as a religious Jew," Herzfeld said, mentioning Friedman's job with Rep. Dave Camp of Michigan, the ranking Republican member of the Ways and Means Committee. "But this is not what a religious Jew... does."
ReplyDelete---------------
The organizers of the protest should next go there to Capital Hill and put together a huge protest, if the one at Friedman's house doesnt work.
These men are PIGS who make their wives into agunots.See More
Rather then slander Aharon first, why won't Tamar Epstein take the issue of her get to beit din?
ReplyDeleteAharon Friedman is a major pig - he deserves to be shot. Tamar does not have to go anywhere or renegotiate anything - get refusal is disgusting in and of itself.
ReplyDeleteYou're saying that it is perfectly okay that she KIDNAPPED his daughter, took her out of the state, and is violating court orders granting him the right to see her?
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! You then THREATEN him with physical violence? How is THAT okay?
ReplyDeleteWhy is it that we are only hearing HER side of the story? How come nobody is willing to go to bat for the father whose child was STOLEN from him, and who was FORCED to go to court if he wanted a chance of ever seeing her again?
and you are calling him evil?
I always thought that it was the KIDNAPPERS that we are supposed to hate, not the parents whose children were taken?
We see parents on TV pleading with kidnappers to release their children, yet here you are pleading with the parent to let the kidnapper keep her? How backward is THAT?
These people are out of their minds. They support child kidnaping and call the father evil? What crooked, misguided, agend driven, nut jobs whould go to this rally?
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, I think the overwhelming majority of the people who attended the rally didn't know the I know a lot of people who were there, and I don't think they would have gone had they been told the rest of the story. That's ORA's whole tactic. Craft a story that sounds good, to get a lot of people to show up.
ReplyDeleteThey should have offered free pizza - they would have gotten even more people!
ORA spun this great tale of a "Monster" who has "imprisoned" his ex-wife. And the public bought it, because it sounded good. They were not told that she STOLE his child. They were not told that she REFUSES to come to Beis Din to try and resolve the issues.
They were not told that the only option he was given for custody was one which prevents him from spending Shabbos with his daughter for most of the entire year.
She left town, taking their daughter with her. She then comes back with a mob, to try and force him to give up the only right he has left (the right to have a Beis Din work out a fair agreement so he can give her a Get)?
He never said he would NEVER give her a Get. He has stated that he will give her a Get if she comes to the Beis Din to work out a fair custody agreement, one that allows him to be a part of his daughter's life as she grows up. That doesn't sound like blackmail to me. That sounds like a parent who isn't willing to just give up when someone takes his daughter from him. He is willing to fight for her. That's what a REAL parent does.
This is for all of you anonymous idiots: If you were suffering silently in a marriage that was emotionally and verbally abusive for 2 years straight, climaxing after the birth of your child, and you needed to get out, don't tell me you wouldn't do the exact same thing that Tamar did; pack up your infant child and flee to your parents' house. I am happily married, thank GD, and I know that if I were in her situation cv"s, I would do the exact same thing in a heartbeat, even at the risk of being accused of kidnapping my own child by cold hearted people like you. Do you think it is insignificant that both bais din and civil court dismissed the kidnapping charge right off the bat? Go busy yourselves with something productive like organizing your sock drawers rather than spreading lies and promoting injustice and cruelty!
ReplyDeleteTo Anonymous 4:52. The only one spreading lies is you. Tamar chose to get pregnant because the marriage was going well. And since when was the dissolution of the marriage all Aharon's fault? It takes two to tango and its a shame if you believe that its not possible Tamar played her role as well.
ReplyDeleteThe only cruel one here is you as well. So you'd want out of a marriage? Well and good. But who are you to unilaterally strip your husband of his parental relationship. Tamar never even tried to live in Silver Spring (near her sister) as a single woman. Had she tried, we would not be here today. I pity your husband who is trapped in his marriage with you lest you flee with the children. Evidentially to you his role as a father is limited to his paycheck. Disgusting.
And as noted above, Tamar is refusing to go to beit din now. For a woman claiming so much sympathy as an agunah that is odd to say the least.
You are a sad, sad person 5:35, and I truly pity you.
ReplyDeletegetting pregnant is not a proof of marriage going well!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, Tamar knows the pain of having her father taken away from her. Why would she intentionally inflict that same pain on her own daughter? As a parent, I would do whatever I can to PREVENT my children from pain and suffering, even at risk to my own safety. That's what GOOD parents do. She is is the one being selfish here. She should think of someone else for a change!
ReplyDeleteTo Anonymous 4:52 -
ReplyDeleteHow can you make the assumption that she was in an abusive marriage? If that were true, then it would have been all over the ORA propaganda that was plastered everywhere about the rally. They never mentioned a word about it in any of their rantings. Because it isn't true.
Anonymour 4:13 is right. Tamar is a selfish person who decided that once she had a child, she no longer had a use for her husband, so she took the child and left. She had no regard for HIS rights to HIS child, or the child's rights to have a relationship with her father.
Is that what you are supporting?
rabbinical courts should change the get law and should give a dead line - one year of separation should automatically grant divorce to the wife .
ReplyDeletefor what reason should the husband be the only one to grant divorce ?
I always trust Rabbi Herzfeld. He always seems to be on the right side of the issue.
ReplyDeleteIf I was the husband, I would give the Get on the condition that if a competent Rabbi rules otherwise the Get is reversed and she is an Aguanah again.
It is amazing to see each time there is an ora protest how many stuppid gullible people there are out there. I mean come on, anyone with a half a brain can see that Jeremy Stern is the Jewish Al Sharpton. All he knows how to do is just spin a story and leave out the other half. How else is he going to get attention and the $$$? As the saying goes there is a sucker born every minute.
ReplyDeleteThese haredi rabbis are such drei-kups!
ReplyDeletesy -
ReplyDeleteThat's essentially what the Baltimore Beit Din has done. They have said that they will not tell him to give the Get until she holds up to her part of the bargain, which is to come back to Beit Din and work out an arrangement that both sides agree to. Only THEN will they tell him to give the Get (which, from my understanding, he would be willing to do AT THAT TIME).
ORA "conveniently" forgot to mention that little tiny detail.
Until she is willing to follow the rules, the only "Get" she (and her pack of mis-informed goos) deserves is a "Get LOST"!
1) Aharon is the plaintiff in the civil case that resulted in a ruling he doesn't like.
ReplyDelete2) Tamar has requested a get.
Case closed. Give the get.
See, that's what happens when you only listen to the half that ORA is telling you.
ReplyDeleteAharon went to court on 7/21/08 asking for temporary custody, and for tamar to bring their daughter back to Maryland.
SHE was the one who filed the petition for divorce, on 8/12/08 - 22 days later.
But ORA won't tell you that. All they say is that he was the plaintiff in the case. Well, yes - he WAS the plaintiff. He was suing to get his child back BEFORE she filed for divorce.
1) tamar was the defendant, and I'm sure she doesn't like the fact that she has to let Aharon see his daughter AT ALL!.
ReplyDelete2) Aharon has requested fair and reasonable visitation with his daughter.
Case closed. Let him spend Shabbat with his daughter.
There is an article in this week's Washington Jewish Week, quoting a member of the Baltimore Beit Din:
ReplyDeleteCurrently, the Epstein-Friedman case remains open but dormant, as "neither party has approached" the Baltimore beit din, requesting that it reconvene, according to Rabbi Mordechai Shuchatowitz, a rabbi on the court.
"Right now," he said, "the ball is in [Epstein's] court" because, as the party seeking the get, she is responsible for reinitiating proceedings.
Since the court has yet officially to order a get, Shuchatowitz said, it's "a bit premature" to be holding rallies and other events meant "to pressure [Friedman] because he's not been given his day in court." After all, "you can't disobey something you've not been told to do."
Here is a link to the full article: http://washingtonjewishweek.com/main.asp?SectionID=4&SubSectionID=4&ArticleID=14039
Even if the letter of the law (and that is disputed) may not require Friedman to give the get, the spirit of the law obligates him to do the only moral thing in this situation, and that is to remove the strings from the get, and give it unconditionally.
ReplyDeleteYet the "spirit of the law" has no problem with HER kidnapping HIS child, moving out of the state, and then intentionally petitioning the court for a visitation schedule that is incompatible with a Shabbat-observant father?
ReplyDeleteWhy doesn't the "spirit of the law" obligate HER to allow him fair and reasonable visitation with his only child?
Tamar Epstein has never taken advantage of the "6 pm" technicality in the court-ordered visitation schedule. On Aharon's Philadelphia weekends with their daughter, he has always been informed by Tamar that he may pick up the child 2 hours before Shabbos. He has NEVER been prevented from seeing his child because of a Sabbath-obsevance issue. In addition, Tamar has made a number of proposals for revision of the current arrangement which include the official discarding of the "6 pm" statement. It is noteworthy to mention that, despite his dissatisfaction with the current custody arrangement, Aharon has never advanced a written proposal for a visitation schedule he would deem fair.
ReplyDeleteThe spirit of the law does require a fair arrangement (whatever that may be - maybe he should move to Philadelphia if he wants to be part of his daughter's day to day life! Why should she have to move? Maybe the third party that has already decided custody was actually impartial? Have you thought about that?), but, and this cannot be stressed enough,
ReplyDeleteCUSTODY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHETHER A GET HAS BEEN GIVEN, AND USING THE GET AS LEVERAGE IN CUSTODY BATTLES IS COMPLETELY CORRUPT, AND CANNOT BE TOLERATED IN THE JEWISH COMMUNITY.
maybe he should move to Philadelphia if he wants to be part of his daughter's day to day life!
ReplyDeleteWhat?
Maybe SHE should move back to Silver Spring!
They were living in Silver Spring as a married couple before she just decided one day to move out of state, and take their child with her.
Why should HE be forced to quit his job and follow her?
What is stopping her from picking up and moving again, just to make his life miserable?
How can you say that it is perfectly acceptable for her to take the child away from him, but he is in the wrong for wanting to be part of his daughter's life?
What if the situation were reversed - If he just decided one day to move to New York, and take his child with him. Would you side with him? Would you tell her to move to New York if she wanted to be a part of her daughter's life?
I hope you never have to go through the pain of having a child taken away from you, because if you ever did, you would understand what he is going through, and how much pain and suffering she is causing him by not allowing him to play an equal role in his daughter's life.
Nobody is stopping her from going to the Baltimore Beit Din, the only one that has any jurisdiction in this case, and asking them for assistance in getting him to give her a get.
According to them, "the ball is in her court."
USING THE GET AS LEVERAGE IN CUSTODY BATTLES IS COMPLETELY CORRUPT, AND CANNOT BE TOLERATED IN THE JEWISH COMMUNITY.
ReplyDeleteKidnapping, holding children for ransom, and threatening mob tactics cannot be tolerated, either.
Thank you for revealing what Aharon wants and how he is planning on getting it.
ReplyDeleteHe is cruelly dangling the get over her head because he really wants her to live where she does not want to live (or get her to set up a ridiculous visitation schedule that is detrimental to the child). No matter what the past is, that is wrong. Period.
And no claims of "kidnapping", "holding children for ransom" (both of which were totally rejected by the courts), or "mob tactics" (which is a ridiculous characterization of Tamar's defiance against get-abuse) will change the immorality of Aharon's actions.
Custody and all other issues can be settled in court and both Tamar and Aaron will have to adhere to the court's ruling. However the get cannot be used as leverage. A get should be given immediately. Unfortunately, withholding of a get is often seen as the last form of control by an abusive husband.
ReplyDeleteIt seems very suspect that the visitation rights were scheduled during shabbos with the family courts being known for their anti-male bias. I support Aharon.
ReplyDeleteI am a Jewish man and I am glad that I never was foolish enough to get married in America. Yes, I'm aware of the spiritual call to marry and have children. Unfortunately, I find that I must give my support to men and the growing marriage strike.
It appears that most of the "anonymous" people out there spewing stupid aharon friedman rhetoric is probably the same person (who continues to spread lies and richilut about tamar). get over it, you are pathetic!!
ReplyDeletelet's clarify with some REAL facts about this case: 1. tamar has never withheld her daughter from seeing aharon because ot the "6 pm" clause.
2. aharon refuses to mediate in person (what a man right?) - it is clear that he doesn't have his daughters interests in mind.
3. it is not clear what he really wants, except to torture his ex-wife
4. tamar, is the one willing to make concessions
5. aharon has been the one dragging his feet in this case, has lost in court on multiple occasions, is the plaintiff, and is just out to torture this poor woman
IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THE MAN DISAGREES WITH THE CUSTODY ARRANGEMENTS - IT IS CRUEL AND IMMORAL TO USE THE GET AS LEVERAGE AND IN THIS CASE AS A WEAPON!!!!! PERIOD!
The biggest question that jumps out at me from this story is: WHY is this being held up as the prototype of the unfair agunah plight? There was clearly no abuse in the marriage or it would have been mentioned in one of the many articles about the situation. The get is being used as leverage in the battle over access to their child, a relatively noble cause. Buried deep in one of the many articles, the bet din they went to in Baltimore was quoted as saying that the issue is still open, it's premature to say he's refusing to give a get, and the ball is currently in her court to re-initiate proceedings.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many examples of agunah situations where withholding the get is an attempt to extort money (or avoid paying alimony/child support) or simply as a means to torture her, with no other motive. It is virtually always part of a larger pattern of abuse. There are so many examples where the bet din actually demands that the husband grant a get and he refuses.
The fact that this case is being highlighted smells very bad. On deeper research, I see that the Epstein family is very wealthy and powerful in Philadelphia and beyond. One has to ask, is that a factor in the disproportional publicity of this case?
One more point, I find it highly irresponsible if not overtly corrupted that prominent rabbis are encouraging her to circumvent the bet din system in her attempts to obtain a get. What is the point of having a bet din involved at all if rabbis close to the wife's family can come out with statements that the get needs to be issued unconditionally?
The situation of the agunah is a very difficult one, and as a woman I am all for protecting women as much as possible. However, as a discerning person, I have to say that I am not sure how much sympathy this specific woman needs.
Let her go back to the bet din, let the people who hear the case with all the details help decide the situation. The huge mobs chanting slogans, trying their best to help the underdog, may have been misled into choosing the wrong side.
At the rally, Rabbi Jeremy Stern said that
ReplyDeleteit is the husband that refused arbitration
in Bais Din. This seems to be completely
false from what I'm reading here and completely
misleading. Can someone clarify the truth
here?
Rabbi Herzfeld seems to be completely ignorant
of the fact that monetary coercion causes
a coerced get which would be invalid. By going
directly to the employer he has just complicated the matter tenfold! Rabbi Herzfeld
your feminist bias is so obvious here it makes
me want to vomit!
I wish the owner of this page would moderate these nasty comments more strictly
ReplyDeleteCongrats to Joe Levin for appearing in the New York Times!
ReplyDelete